Is It Wrong To Want To Recharge?
|Dishes piling up...|
I hate saying that I'm overwhelmed.
I want to be able to do it all.
I NEED to be able to do it all.
With a husband who owns his own business and has insane hours, I have no choice.
But this week has been hell.
And I don't know if it's been worse than other weeks or that I'm just drained.
|Just part of the painting that Levi did with my gel nail polish....|
It's probably an accumulation because we've been through the wringer in the last 8 months or so....
But I feel guilty that I want a break.
My kids need a break, too.
When I go to the chiropractor's, I feel guilty leaving them at home because I know that they are tired of being cooped up in the house, too.
I feel guilty for wanting to go out on a Date Night with my husband for the same reason.
Not that we have much time for going out anymore.
And I don't feel that a few hours of alone time is really cutting it anymore...because I don't seem any less stressed once I step back into my normal chaotic life.
My life isn't intentionally chaotic...but that's life when you have 4 kids.
And a pre-teen.
And 2 preschoolers.
Life is just flooded with hormones and emotions.
But I need to detach to connect. Does that make any sense?
And I feel wrong for feeling this way because there are a hundred million moms out there feeling the same way. A hundred million moms who can't pee without someone trying to crawl on their lap. Who can't sleep without a little one trying to crawl on top of them because they just want to cuddle. Who can't eat a warm meal because a little person needs help with eating their meal. I'm not doing anything special or unique. So why am I feeling like it's too much sometimes?
And just imagining how LUCKY I am to even have my babies is overwhelming. So many moms have lost their babies. Or can't have babies. Who would give their soul just to hold their own baby. And I am daring to COMPLAIN??? What kind of ass am I???
Yeah. That's where I'm at right now.
I am exhausted. And stressed. And touched out. But extremely blessed.
And I am overwhelmingly grateful.