Thursday, January 22, 2015

My Year In a Nutshell

I cannot believe that I haven't written anything on here for almost a year! I really honestly meant to post something every day...but somehow time slips away from me. I guess that's what happens when you're a momma to 4. :)

But so many things have happened in  my life...and ongoing adventures!...that I want to write about them now while I have the chance. Haha! (It takes me being sick and glued to the couch to get me to sit still long enough. ;)

So pour yourself a cup of coffee, pull up a seat and let me fill you in on my adventures over the last year. You might want to grab a box of kleenex because there have been some sad times, too.....

Well, it's been over a year ago, but my little brother passed away 2 Octobers ago. I still have days when I just bawl and sob because I miss him so much. I eventually sunk into a deep depression. I don't know if many people around me knew it. I tried to mask it with a smile. But I stopped exercising. Stopped juicing. Stopped eating healthy. None of it seemed important anymore. I just gave up.

I miss my brother....


Finally, after about a year, in mid-September, the cloud lifted somewhat. I still miss Ryan but it's not as debilitating. I know that he's waiting for me on the other side. I also know he has a precious soul he's watching over for me too, which helps somewhat.... See, once I began coming to life again, I began working out and eating healthy. I was pumped about feeling energized again.

In August, we adopted a dog from the pound!!! She is so adorable!!! She is a yellow Lab mix, we're not sure what she's mixed with, but we think one of the other breeds is probably Golden Retriever. We named her Gypsy. When we brought her home, they had her on antibiotics for kennel cough. But, after a few days, I realized it wasn't working. She was listless. Vomiting a lot. Not wanting to eat. Not wanting to play. Thick green nasal discharge. Definitely not normal for an 11 month old Lab pup. So I took her back to the pound's veterinarian. They put her on a different antibiotic for a week. Still not much improvement. Our girl was SICK. :( So I said to my husband that this wasn't like us, anyways, to use man-made chemicals to cure a body. Obviously they weren't working after almost 2 weeks. So I googled the safe medicinal dosage of fresh garlic for canines. You MUST follow safe dosages in order not to cause blood toxicity!! Gypsy's dosage was 1 clove a day. Which she ate with no problem. Within 2 DAYS, she was so much better!! I only gave it to her for a few days and she was completely healed!! Now we have a rambunctious, hyper, loving and protective new furry family member!

Gypsy


But in late September, one Sunday morning, as I was waking up to go to church, I felt a bad pain in my back/side. I started bleeding dark brown blood. I started freaking out. My mom has been diagnosed with pre-cancer twice (cervical) and I had a breast cancer scare years ago. One of my best friends suggested to take a pregnancy test. I thought that was ridiculous. I have an IUD. It's touted to be over 96% effective. Some people say it's over 99% effective. I couldn't be pregnant!

But there, on the little stick, were 2 pink lines. One of them faint, but a faint line is still a line. Because I have in an IUD, I felt the best thing to do was to go to the ER.

The ER confirmed the pregnancy. And although I wasn't bleeding a lot, there was still concern. They did blood tests to check my hormone levels and a transvaginal ultrasound.

You know, it's funny, a mother's heart. It's indescribable almost. But our souls can bond with our babies at such a deep level, even within hours of finding out we're pregnant. I might have been in shock, but I was also in love. I envisioned baby smiles. Chubby cheeks. Lots of pink. Oh, how I imagined she was a little girl.

But it was not to be. My hormone levels weren't on level with what they should be, according to my LMP. The ultrasound found absolutely nothing. Except a corpus luteum cyst, which is normal for me during pregnancy.

My dreams were shattered. My heart broken. Even now, as I write this, I can barely see the computer screen through my tears.

After several follow ups with my doctor, it was determined to be a complete miscarriage. No D&C was necessary.

My doctor assured me that the cyst would go away on it's own, but seeing as how I'm still having pain (it has been about 4 months since they found it), I'm not entirely sure it did go away. Maybe it wasn't a corpus luteum cyst? A nurse practioner that I talked to thinks it may be a hernia, but I haven't gone to have it checked on yet.... (can you see that I react to things like an ostrich who sticks it's head in the sand? hahaha)

It took me a few weeks of hard grieving, but I finally got back into the routine of working out and eating healthy again. But then I was diagnosed with a bladder infection. Oh, such fun times I am having, eh? ;)

The urgent care clinic I went to prescribed the antibiotic Macrobid for me. Immediately, I began having excruciating headaches. Within a few days, I noticed that my left leg and arm were going numbish and tingling. I went to the ER. They thought I might be having a stroke!!! I told them I had recently begun taking Macrobid...even handed them my prescription bottle...but they said nothing. They did blood tests, urinalysis, hand-eye coordination tests, even a CT SCAN!!! Everything came back clean. Dr even said my bladder infection was gone. But they sent me home with instructions to continue taking the Macrobid as instructed and to follow up with a neurologist.

I took a total of three more doses of medication over that day and the next. The numbness and tingling didn't get any better. In fact, my left arm was beginning to feel heavy. I was having trouble holding my phone to text. The headaches were almost unbearable. Finally I read the pamphlet that lists the side effects of the Macrobid that the pharmacy had given me. There, in big letters, it said the Macrobid can cause, on rare occasion, SEVERE OR FATAL NERVE DAMAGE. To seek medical attention immediately if I begin experiencing numbness and/or tingling in my hands or feet. Ummm....WHAT?!!!!? (see?! I've been right all along about the evils of Western medication!!)

Well, I am self-pay all the way right now. I wasn't about to run to the ER if I could help it. Especially not after knowing how expensive my bill from the previous day was going to be and they sent me home with no real diagnosis. I called the urgent care clinic that had prescribed it for me and they told me to just stop taking the Macrobid. Said the pill should be out of my system in a day.

Some amazing friends of mine told me to call the pharmacist. After all, they spend YEARS learning about medications and their effects on the body. So I called. THANK YOU HEAVENLY FATHER!!!!! The pharmacist was so nice and sweet! She was even a little freaked out though, but tried to talk me through everything. She told me to immediately begin taking 25 mg of Benadryl a day, taking another dose after 5 or so hours if the symptoms returned, for the next 5 days. She said that she had never had anyone report this type of side effect before from Macrobid, even though she's been filling prescriptions for it for years.

The Benadryl has been working pretty well. I am telling myself that that is a good sign, right? I mean, if Benadryl can stop most, if not all, of the symptoms (especially those tortuous headaches that stab the back of my head and go down my neck, stiffening it), that is a good sign, right? I called the pharmacy again today and spoke to a different pharmacist but she said that it most likely meant that the symptoms/nerve problems were temporary since Benadryl could alleviate them. It's most likely akin to an allergic reaction. And since the tests at the hospital, even the CT scan, showed nothing, then there was probably no permanent damage done. I caught it early enough.

After doing a few days of Googling, I realize that I'm not alone. This has happened to lots of other women. Some of them said that their symptoms are permanent but others said their symptoms went away after about six weeks. Although the latter still scares me....it's still better than permanency! And none of them had mentioned taking Benadryl to help, so I can't really compare my story completely to theirs to get a better idea if it's temporary for me. But I have been taking my burden to God. He can heal all things. And, as strange as it sounds, I am trying to find gratitude through this all. I am grateful that I'm still alive. I am grateful that the pharmacist told me to take Benadryl. I am grateful that although my hands may be tingly and heavy feeling, I can still hug and hold my babies. And, even if it's permanent, I will be grateful to still be here. To still be a momma and wife. I am grateful for my life. <3

My beautiful family...my hearts


Well, guys, that about sums it up. My year in a nutshell. ;)

What about you guys? How has your year been? :)

P.S. I have since been told of natural remedies for UTIs, like D-Mannose! I will most definitely try my hardest to go the crunchy way next time!!!

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