Saturday, May 8, 2010

A Moment of Self-Pity

As I was sitting here on this dreary Saturday morning, I am going over the events of the past several months.

I am so disappointed in myself that I couldn't keep the daycare open longer. I know that I need to understand that my body and mind are not my own right now, but that is so hard to do. I wanted to so much to be a fun-and-education-filled daycare. I wanted my home to be brimming with children & their laughter.

I have failed.

I was not strong enough to keep it going.

But 55 hours per week is a lot of hours when your body is going through so much. And my family's entire being is going to be changing it the most wonderful way in the next several months. We need time to focus & find our center amid the chaos.

I plan on re-opening the daycare once the baby is born & we have settled into our new lives & roles together. I think that I will only accept older children for before and after school & for school holidays. That way I am not overwhelmed when I start back working.

Reading what I wrote 2 paragraphs ago helps bring me peace. I am not closing the doors to my daycare because I am weak. I am closing the doors on the outside world to rekindle the flame of our family's strength & stability. That is my most important priority at this time.

Thank you for bearing with me while I sorted that out ;). Please return to your regularly scheduled life. :)

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