Thursday, April 15, 2010

Hello Stretchy Pants! Goodbye Sanity!

Packed away are my fitted t-shirts and regular jeans. One of my wonderfully amazing friends graciously let me borrow a TON of maternity clothes to wear and I have been lucky enough to have been exposed to the joys of thrift stores and yard sale-season. The latter of which I am excited to get into full swing.
I have not decided yet to do about my daycare. I am just so tired all of the time. When you lose track of such basic things, such as "when was the last time I washed a load of laundry" or "when did I last wash my hair?", you start to wonder if maybe you are under too much pressure. Plus, with my nerves being about frayed to the point of no-return, I am feeling that one more day of the incessant bickering may force me to either blow up my own home or quit my job. I am praying that I am able to choose the latter. It would be beyond embarrassing to be caught checking out arson books at my local library. I would like these last few months to be spent with my own two children. To get in as much quality time as I can before this new little one arrives. They have had me all to themselves for the last 6 years. They have no idea how much their little worlds are going to change. I want to give my notice to quit, but I know how much we need the money. I have found such cute things for the baby & things to get for my bigger little ones. One needs "green backs" to purchase such things. I am not yet ready for a life of crime, robbing Babies R Us' in the middle of the night. Can't you just see those headlines? "Police Investigate: Only Cute Girlie Abby's Farm Crib Bedding Stolen" or "Large Supply of Burp Rags Missing".
Morning sickness hit today. Well, I am thinking that it is morning sickness. The flu is also going around, but since I am only nauseous after eating something, I'm guessing I have nothing to blame but preggo hormones....
I don't know what I'm going to do. I have considered closing the doors of my daycare for good....well, at least until I bring this new little one into the world & we are able to thoroughly love her up & welcome her into the world & her (or his) new family. I have also considered just doing this part time (currently I am working 55 hours per week...that's a lot of hours by anyone's standards, I'm guessing), but my current daycare families NEED full time care. I have also thought of just staying open a few more months and then just "closing my doors" shortly before the baby is born. Who knows. I hate it that the only mind that is able to make this big decision is currently be held hostage by hormones & rash judgment.

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