Wednesday, March 3, 2010

The Girl Who Couldn't Swallow

Yeah, you sickos. I knew that title would catch your attention. Actually, it had me giggling all night, in anticipation of writing this entry. :) Ahh...what happiness I bring myself. (heeheehee)
So, yeah....back to the "swallowing" thing. Maybe you've noticed I haven't been on here for a few days. Hopefully my FOUR fans (woo hoo!!) have noticed, anyways. :) I have been really sick this past week. I thought I had an ear infection and quite possibly strep throat. Nope. God feels that He can release His Creative Energy on us. Yes, he does. Apparently, "ear infection" and "strep throat" rang a little too drab in His ears. He felt that "huge abscess in throat, pushing out into neck (yum) & putting pressure onto ear" sounded much more fitting for me. Yay me.
So...yeah....it hurt like hell to swallow. Anything. Not that I tried to swallow that particular anything that I know you are referring to. Perv. I couldn't eat for 2 days and could barely drink anything. I am still hoping to get some sleep sometime in the near future. But I have this irrational (everybody else's term....I feel it is "super rational") fear that my body, out of fear of causing extreme pain, will "forget" to swallow, I will choke & therefore die in my sleep. Antonio swears that this is not possible, but after seeing how he deals with me being sick, I am none to sure that he is telling me the truth.
It's not that he treats me bad when I am sick. No. But he has this theory that whenever anybody (except himself) is sick, it's just in their head. Therefore, if they think that they aren't sick, then they won't be.
I came to learn of his theory a few months ago when I had a really nasty flu thing. We didn't have a thermometer at the time, so I depended on his "hand on the forehead" temperature-taking method. I thought that I was on fire, but he promised me that I was fine. It was my imagination. Okay. So I went to bed that night, but before I could go to sleep, God decided to talk to me. Yeah. God. God told me that I was going to die, but not to worry because my children would be fine without me. I started crying and, well, basically losing it. Antonio comes in the bedroom and asks me what was wrong. I told him that I didn't want him to be afraid, but that God had just told me that I would be dying. I told Antonio that God promised my kids would be okay, but it still didn't make me feel any better. Well, he laughed. He told me that I was just hallucinating because of the fever. Hmmm...what was that? Huh? Because of the...what was that word? FEVER? Yes, he said. I just didn't want you to get worried about having a fever, so I just told you that you didn't have to worry about it.
WHAT?! We went out that weekend and bought a thermometer.
So this time with my throat and ear thing, I felt like I was burning up. I decided to test Antonio. I laid in bed & took my temperature. 102-degrees. Not a major fever, but still a fever. "Antonio, mi amor, can you please feel my forehead...I feel so hot." So in he comes, puts his nice, cool hand on my forehead (which is an indication right away, because I swear that man has hot sauce flowing in his veins!)..."Nope. No fever." I had him. Red Cold handed.
Soooo...to make a very long and boring (and slightly disgusting) story much shorter, I went to the doctor (who is wise enough to not use the hand-on-the-forehead method). And she was (unlike my husband) very sympathetic & believed me when I said I hurt. She didn't feel that it was all in my head (ha! turns out, it was all in my throat! LOL). Though, now that I think about it, maybe if I gave my husband $80 to listen to me complain for 10 minutes, maybe he'd be more sympathetic, too.....
So, hopefully I am now on the road to recovery!
And that, my friends, is the sad story of The Girl Who Couldn't Swallow.

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