Friday, February 26, 2010

A box full of bunnies

Is it just me, or are they teaching children at a much more accelerated speed than when I was in school? I don't know....maybe since we homeschool I notice it more? This year we decided to give the Abeka program a go. We chose it because it is a Christian-based program & most of their lessons mention God or promote good Christian values/morals. That's not saying that Christianity has the monopoly on good behavior, but from what I've heard, not a lot of homeschool programs really focus on these aspects.

My son Christian is in Kindergarten. I had the choice to pick either the manuscript package or the cursive package...well, when I read their literature, they really sold me on teaching cursive. Yeah. Right. Here's to good intentions, right? Let me just say that by the end of Day 1, I tossed the cursive handbook. Whatever. Guys never write in cursive anyways.

Then I tried to master Cursive with my daughter Mahri, who is in 3rd grade. Yeah. Okay. Out of every subject that I am teaching them, Cursive is the biggest b*tch! Dang! It was so frustrating....so I tossed her Cursive book too. Oh...I'm sorry..her Penmanship book.

So we have gone on to mastering the wonderful world of multiplication. I am big on using mental visual aids, because I think it helps kids to remember how exactly to solve a problem.

So...an example of my teaching method would be...for the Times 2 Table....

"Mahri...6X2= what? Well, how many ears does a bunny have? Two! Right! Well, imagine you have a box filled with 6 bunnies....what? Ummm...pretend they are your pets...ok? So..anyways...you have a box with 6 bunnies and they each have 2 ears... What? Yes...their ears are big, yes. Hmm? Uhhh...not sure how you got them in the box. Nope. Mahri...is it important that you know HOW they got int he box? It is? Well...you were running through a field & found a whole little nest of baby bunnies. Six of them. So you put them in the box. What? Yes. You can put some grass in the box for the bunnies. Okay. So...we have 6 bunnies and they each have 2.... What? I don't know what happened to their Mom. She wasn't there. I didn't ask her where she was. Back to Math! Six bunnies...2 ears each... Mahri!! No, the Mommy bunny won't miss her babies. No that doesn't make her a bad mother! Yes!! Of course I would miss you if somebody took you and shoved you in a box! What? Nobody is going to shove you in a box to prove a point. No, not even to teach a math problem. Yes, Mahri, I do realize that it would be mean to kidnap a nest full of baby bunnies. It's not right...you're absolutely correct. But I am just trying to teach you your school lesson, hon. Can we get back to it? Okay..... Wait. What was I teaching you??"

Yeah. That's how I spend my days. Fun, right?

Oh. And let's not forget when they were each learning their letters & were trying to make a sign for their pretend store or restaurant. I would tell them NOT to make the sign because "Mommy is very busy & can't help right now". Simple enough, right? (I can hear all of you moms out there giggling...you know where this is going...)So, I go back to doing my important task, such as laundry...or, you know, Facebook...

A minute later they tell me "Don't worry, Mommy! We'll do it ourselves!"

Uh oh. This isn't going to end well.

A minute later..."Mom!! Really quick...how do you spell 'pet store'?"

:::sigh:::

So I spell it for them. But every 2 seconds they would shriek "Wait!! You're going too fast!!"

"Guys, look, Mommy told you she's busy."

They reply, "I know! But I'm just a kid....'member? Okay. How do you spell "every day"?"

Ugh. So I begin to spell it for them.

But then I hear, "Ummmm....what does a 'y' look like?"

Oh no. So, as most of you other mothers know (or maybe I'm the only lazy one who is still trying to describe what a 'y' looks like from another room)....it is pretty difficult to explain a 'y' from another room.

Apparently, it is also hard to get a visual of how to make a 'y' when your lazy mother won't come help you... "Mom...is this right?"

"Christian, how can I know if it's right? I can't see it."

So he says "I know. Can you come here and check it for me?"

Darn it!!!

"Christian, I am trying to clean the cat box out right now...is it super important that I come right now to check?!"

He sighs. How sad for him that he has such an uninvolved mother. My guilt starts eating away at me.

"Christian, honey...can it wait just a minute?"

"No, Mommy. Please come right now....I have a box full of 6 bunnies that need to be sold right away."

Argh!

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